


Mafia, Caboose, and a Whole Lot of Bullshit

by KiwiCutie013



Series: Red Vs Blue Game AUs :) [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Board Games, Carolina is kicking their ass, Competition, Competitive, Fluff, Food, Grimmons if you squint, M/M, Marshmallows, Minor Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons, Minor Drinking, Project Freelancer, Season 15, Town of Salem, Tuckington - Freeform, but mainly just Donut being Dount, chorus, mafia, no Kai or Doc :(, sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 14:56:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21101348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiwiCutie013/pseuds/KiwiCutie013
Summary: The game was constructed so that there would be multiple winners. By the time they were done playing, everyone should at least have a single marshmallow. That was just logically how it would turn out. The way the game worked; by the end, even Caboose would have one.So why was it that Carolina had a tall tower of 8 marshmallows and no one else had any?or The Reds and Blue decide to play Mafia on a rainy day no one but Carolina can seem to win, Caboose keeps voting against himself, Wash is tired, and Grif just wants some marshmallows.and shenanigans ensue.





	Mafia, Caboose, and a Whole Lot of Bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came into my head and I couldn't not write it : )
> 
> Please leave Kudos if you enjoyed UwU

On any normal account; card games were supposed to be fun. 

They were a great way to get together with a bunch of friends and find easy entertainment on a rainy day.

The best part about it was that the game they choose to play was Mafia. The game Mafia was played best with big groups of people and had only a few rules and an easy setup. The game started by picking somebody who would play as God or more known as the moderator. God was the one who passed out roles and created the story. Simmons had referred to it as the position of Dungeon Master. Which by the way, was wrong, because for one this was not Dungeons and Dragons and two this game was actually cool.

God’s job was to tell everyone to close their eyes while he passed out one of four roles to each person. The four roles were; civilian, nurse, cop, and killer. (With some games you can add the joker) The civilian didn’t have any special ability while the others were self-explanatory. The killer kills, the nurse heals, etc. Not that fucking hard. 

If God handed you the ace card, then you were the murderer. If God handed you the queen, then you were the nurse. If God handed you a king, then you were the cop, and any other card, besides the joker, then you were a civilian.

After roles were passed out, everyone would open their eyes and look at their cards. You were not supposed to show your card to anyone. If you did; you would be committing suicide and automatically lose the game.

God gave you the setting and then began the first night. During that night the murderer would kill one person and the cop would tell God who they thought was the murderer and God would tell them whether their assumption was right or wrong. 

Then morning would come and everyone would discuss what happened during the night and then announce who they believed the killer to be. Then, there would be a trial where everyone would vote who to kill based on who they thought was the murderer. The game continued until the murderer killed everyone or until the murderer was figured out and killed in a vote.

It was basically the non-electronic version of Town of Salem; the main point of the game was to figure out who the murderer was.

They had been using marshmallows as prizes. If you were the murderer and you killed everyone, then you got a marshmallow. If you were anyone else and you figured out who the murderer was  first , then you also got a marshmallow. 

The game was constructed so that there would be multiple winners. By the time they were done playing, everyone should at least have a single marshmallow. That was just logically how it would turn out. The way the game worked; by the end, even Caboose would have one.

So why was it that Carolina had a tall tower of 8 marshmallows and no one else had any?

“Goddammit Carolina.” Church cursed, turning his card over to reveal the ace card. 

Out of everyone Church was definitely the best at the game and had come multiple times to winning. (Besides Carolina of course)

Carolina chuckled, taking another marshmallow from the bag and placing it onto her mountain. 

“How’d you know?” Church whined, slumping against the back of the base’s worn-out couch. (Even though they had just gotten them from Kimball about a week ago, Caboose had already set two of them on fire twice)

“Because you murdered Caboose first and then tried killing me twice.” Carolina mused. 

“Are we playing again?” Simmons asked irritably as he began collecting the cards. 

“No,” Wash added quickly. They had been playing for a total of two hours and he was so tired of reteaching Caboose the rules, enduring Donut’s card innuendos, and listening to the crazy scenarios Sarge had kept coming up with. He really wished he had just gone to bed with Tucker.

He really wished for an out right about now.

“No way!” Grif protested from the grey chair across the table. “We’re playing again, that last round was total bullshit.” He said annoyed. He had been extremely interested in winning the game but everybody knew he just wanted a marshmallow.

“Quiet dirtbag, you thought the killer was Donut.” Sarge barked, as Simmons handed him the deck of shuffled, collected cards.

“Because he kept listing all the ways he would kill us!” Grif insisted. 

Simmons shuddered. “I’ve never wished for a quicker death in my life.” 

Donut smiled, kicking his feet as he was sprawled out like a teenager on the tan carpet. “There is nothing wrong with placing an elegant lace pillow over you face, so no one can hear your cries as I whip out my pistol and blow you away.” He said innocently.

Church groaned as Caboose pulled him into a bear hug. “I would never kill Church.” He insisted. “Buuut if I did; it would be Tucker’s fault.”

Wash sighed. “Can we just start the game?” He asked desperately.

Church nodded, wiggling free of Caboose’s grip. “Yea, all of you shut the fuck up and close your+ eyes. Sarge pass out the cards.”

Everyone quieted down and closed their eyes, extending a hand for the card that Sarge would choose for them. 

“Ok Dinguses, open your eyes.” Sarge said as he stood up by the front of the table on his 9th turn of playing God. 

Everyone eagerly looked at their cards, careful to not let the other players see. Caboose glanced at his card and smiled. “I got the farmer.” He announced.

“Caboose,” Simmons said with a raised brow. “There is no farmer.”

Caboose frowned. “Oh, then I have the baker.” 

“The roles are Cop, Murderer, Civilian, and Nurse, Caboose,” Wash explained. “And you shouldn’t tell people what card you have.” 

Caboose smiled. “Right, I will not do that again. Totally.” 

Sarge cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention. “Alright listen up Turds, the story starts with everyone on a plane. The plane crashes because Grif fell asleep at the wheel.” Sarge said, glaring at Grif who just returned his gaze with an eye roll. “and the plane goes down on an abandoned island. Except one of you sickos is a murderer. Night falls.” Sarge narrated. “Now to go to sleep!”

Everyone closed their eyes and Sarge spoke again. “Murderer open your eyes.” The player with the ace card opened their eyes as Sarge continued. “Point to who you want to kill.” 

The murderer thought for a minute before pointing to Church. Sarge nodded. “Ok, killer close your eyes.” The killer closed their eyes.

“Cop open your eyes,” Sarge announced. The cop opened their eyes and looked around the room. “Who do you think is the killer?” Sarge asked. 

The Cop looked around the group and pointed to Simmons. Sarge shook his head no. The Cop shrugged and closed his eyes. 

“And lastly, Medic open your eyes.” The Medic opened their eyes. “Who do you want to heal?” The Medic pointed to Carolina. She had been a favorite to heal because she was good at the game and without her, they would all die. Also, the killer would usually go after her first because she always won. 

Sarge nodded as the medic closed their eyes. 

“Alright, everybody wake up!” Sarge ordered. The group opened their eyes as Sarge continued. “While on the island Church decided it would be a good idea to take a trip to go find food.” 

Church groaned face-planting his head into his hands as he knew what was coming next.

“While going out for food Church stupidly ran into a tree and was knocked out. The killer came across him and stepped on his stupid Blue face a few times. Church is dead, the Cop guessed wrong, and the Medic healed Carolina.” 

Carolina smirked as Church flipped his card over, revealing a 3 of diamonds. “Seriously guys?! I was a civilian.” He complained, crossing his arms against his chest. 

Grif nodded. “Yea, yea crybaby. Nobody cares.” He leaned into the table and looked around the group. “Now which one of you bastards is the killer?”

“Not me.” Donut sing-songed from the floor. 

Grif raised a brow. “Prove it.” He stated, his want to win growing greater every single time Carolina won instead.

Donut smiled, remembering the rule about showing your card, he looked at his card and placed it face down on the carpet. “6 of spades.” He said. 

Telling people your exact card structure was a pretty big guarantee that you weren’t guilty. 

Simmons shrugged. “That doesn’t mean much. You could be lying.” He said. Simply. “Also you haven’t been the killer once, that highers your chances of being it exponentially.” He pointed out. 

Carolina considered this. “You’ve got a point.” 

Simmons nodded. “I vote Donut.” 

Wash raised a brow. “Your pretty quick to vote against Donut.” He pointed out. 

“Maybe you're the killer.” Carolina finished, the competitiveness in her voice becoming more apparent and terrifying by the second. 

“Butterscotch would not kill Church.” Caboose defended. 

Sarge coughed, catching the attention of the players. “Conversation time over, it’s time to vote.” He ordered. 

Wash nodded. “I vote Simmons.” 

“The murderer isn’t Simmons.” Grif declared confidently. 

“How do you know?” Carolina asked. 

Grif rolled his eyes. “Because I’m the Cop and I checked him first.”

Simmons gasped. “Why’d you think I was the killer?”

Grif shrugged lazily. “Why not?” 

“Asshole.”

“Kissass.”

Simmons sighed. “Whatever, I still vote Donut.”

Grif nodded. “I vote Simmons.”

“But you just said I wasn’t the killer!” Simmons screeched. 

Grif snickered. “I know.”

“Quiet fatass.” Sarge snapped. “Now what are the votes?”

Donut glanced at his nails. “Abstained.”

“Simmons.” 

Simmons rolled his eyes at Grif. “Donut.” 

Carolina leaned against the back of the couch. “Abstained.”

“Simmons.” Wash voted.

“Caboose.” 

“You dumbass.” Church commented grumpily towards Caboose.

Wash blinked. “Caboose, you can’t vote for yourself.” 

Caboose frowned. “Oh, then I vote for Danish.”

Sarge nodded. “So it’s a tie between Simmons and Donut. No one is lynched for today, night falls. Everybody close your eyes.” 

Everybody closed their eyes and the night continued. When Sarge was finished with the commands he ordered everybody to open their eyes. “Alright as everybody went on with their day. Grif and Simmons decided to go out in an attempt to find the food that Church failed to find.” Sarge said, putting exaggerations on the word failed, directed to Church. 

Church frowned. “Oh, cram it.” He groaned, getting up from his seat and heading into the kitchen.

Simmons shushed Church. “Who dies? Me or Grif? Please be Grif.”

“What the hell Simmons? You sellin’ me out?” 

“Shut up, it was bound to happen.” 

“On their walk.” Sarge interrupted. “Simmons left Grif alone to go scavenge for berries. As Grif was alone, the killer walked up to Grif and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him out and killing him.” 

Simmons fist-pumped the air. “Yes!” 

“No!” Grif shouted out. 

“Grif is dead, the Cop guessed wrong, and the Nurse healed Carolina, once again.”

Carolina snickered at Grif’s protest. 

Grif frowned. “Shut up, I bet you're the murderer.” 

“I’m a civilian.” She stated. 

Wash frowned. “Although, come to think of it. You could be the murderer.” 

Caboose shook his head. “Mrs. Carolina could not be the killer.” He said matter of factly. 

Donut gasped. “Wash you beautiful genius your right!”

Simmons nodded. “Actually yea.” 

Carolina laughed. “That’s ridiculous, I have the 7 of clovers.” 

Simmons shook his head. “No, it’s not. Think about it. Church was killed first and everybody knows, that besides you; he’s the best at this game.”

“And then the next day, Grif announced himself as the Cop and he was dead the following morning.” Wash added. 

Carolina rolled her eyes. “If you want to vote for me fine. Go ahead, but just know that upon further evaluation, I think the killer is Donut and the medic is Wash.” 

Wash paused. “How did you know I was th-” 

“Enough talking” Sarge growled. “Voting time.” 

Simmons nodded. “Carolina.” 

“Carolina.”

“Donut.”

“Carolina.”

“Caboose.”

“Caboose stop voting against yourself.” Grif snapped. “That’s not how you play.”

Caboose nodded. “Oh. I thought you were supposed to-”

Grif rolled his eyes, interrupting him. “Just vote for Carolina.” 

Caboose nodded, happily. “Alright.” 

Sarge nodded. “Welp Carolina-”

Carolina’s eyes opened in realization. “Holy shit, wait. I know who the killer is.” 

Sarge shook his head. “Too late! Flip over your card.” 

Church walked in with a beer and popped open the cap as he seated himself back on the couch. “What’d I miss?”

Grif smiled. “Just Carolina about to reveal herself as the killer.”

Carolina rolled her eyes as everybody looked over at her, anticipatingly waiting for her to reveal her card. She flipped it over and revealed the seven of clovers. “What’d I say?” She mused sarcastically. “I’m not the killer.”

Grif groaned. “Oh come on!”

The next night went on as normal, with Sarge’s whole routine. The following day, Simmons was voted to die and was lynched. Then, night fell, the Killer killed, the Nurse healed and morning came. Sarge cleared his throat. “The following day, Donut decided to head out to the market for steering wheel fluid and got his throat sliced open by the killer. Donut is dead and the Nurse healed themself.”

Everybody paused. 

“So that means...that Caboose is the murderer.” Church gawked. 

Caboose nodded. “And I would have won! But nobody was letting me vote for myself.”

Wash planted his head against the table. “Alright Caboose you win.”

“But I did not vote myself off.” Caboose pointed out. 

Carolina rubbed at her eyes, reading the clock on the wall for the time. “You don’t have to. You win because there aren't enough people to vote you off.” Carolina reached into the bag of marshmallows and tossed one to Caboose. “Alright, I’m heading to bed.” She said, getting up from her seat and heading into the back rooms. 

Caboose smiled, plopping the marshmallow in his mouth. “Neat.”

“What do you want us to do with your pile of marshmallows?” Grif yelled back to Carolina. 

“I don’t care!” She called back. 

Grif smiled, happily scooping them up. “Welp, goodnight guys. It was awful playing with you.” He said, grabbing Simmons by the hoodie and pulling him back out of the blue base. 

Donut yawned and Sarge and him left as well. 

Caboose finished his marshmallow in a quick amount of time and Church and him abruptly left for their rooms, leaving Wash alone in the living room, surrounded by a bunch of scattered cards.

God, he was tired. 

That was honestly the worst game of Mafia ever, of all time. 

He could probably have a few minutes to rest his eyes before he had to clean up the stupid mess the teams had made. 

No wonder Tucker tells him he’s the mom friend.

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” Tucker questioned from the doorway, snapping Wash out of his slumber. 

Wash rubbed at his eyes and looked up at the clock on the wall, which read 2:52 am. 

Fuck.   
  


“I just closed my eyes, must’ve fallen asleep.” 

Tucker walked over, looking tired himself as he plopped down on the couch, leaning into Wash in nothing but a pair of teal sweats. 

Wash wrapped his free arm around Tucker and happily allowed the shorter male to lean into his chest. Wash rested his head on Tucker’s and tugged at the blanket hanging over the couch, draping it over Tucker’s shoulders. “What are you doing up?” He asked, slight concern shining through his words.

“Woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep,” Tucker said, his voice slightly muffled on the account that his face was comfortably leaning into Wash’s light grey hoodie. “What were you guys doing in here?” He asked, taking a glance at the mess in the room. 

Wash sighed. “We ended up playing Mafia for 5 hours.” 

Tucker frowned. “Why didn’t you come get me? I’m great at that game.” He whined. 

Washington smiled softly. “I didn’t want to wake you up.” He admitted. 

Tucker adjusted his position so that he could hold Wash’s hand. “Who won?” 

Wash laughed. “Actually, I’ve got a funny story about that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for Tuckington : )


End file.
